More Nesting

Well, Friday job hunting seemed like a miracle.  I go in for a second interview at an awesome salon on Tuesday.  So send love for that one!!  I WANT THAT ONE.  I have to do a cut and color on someone.  Here’s the miracle part to just that tiny part of the day.  I met my aunt after the interview at a restaurant nearby.  The woman she was having dinner with was total game for getting some foils and hair cut.  I called the salon and we are booked for Tuesday so the owner can see my work and see HOW I work.  

Later I found out this woman is probably one of the richest people in the city as she is family in a GIANT pharmaceutical company.  If this works out, she’s my client and she tells everyone she knows why her hair looks so great.  THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

The other places I went, I got two calls on my resume’s when I was about half a block away.  I went back for one interview already.  One was supposed to call me back today, and did not.  I will call THEM ask about it tomorrow as he acted like it was a sure thing.  I am a tenacious little cuss.  I wanna know the deal.

Today I cleaned my room out even more.  I feel like TODAY, I moved in.  I got rid of a BUNCH of stuff, have about three trash bags and six boxes for Goodwill that I left out in the alley for any one to take.  They are probably worse off than me if they are dumpster diving.  I considered taking what’s left to book shops and vintage shops to see if I can get any money…we’ll see.  I have all day tomorrow to figure that out.

I go through fits of panic.  Then I go through fits of complete and utter calm that of course everything will be just fine.  Things will be just as they should.  If I just shut my brain off I do much better.

This is what I am doing.  I am doing this.  I want to build up the hair career.  I feel that finally, after six years, I am understanding what that means.  I am understanding the leap I have to take to make it work.  I want to work part time at a restaurant while I do this.  It is very simple.  I can do this.  The universe cracked wide open for me on Friday.  I talked about this with Boyfriend.  

That when you open up to complete and possible SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS and follow what is before you, the universe sets out a red carpet for you and life really is very simple.  When you struggle and scratch and scrape, you are on the wrong path.  Sometimes you don’t know it.  You just think things ‘have to’ be ‘hard’.  They don’t.  It doesn’t mean don’t have goals and don’t strive and don’t work hard, but you shouldn’t be holding on for dear life.  Follow your inner most voice, go where it leads you, give up ALL control, follow this windy path, and it OPENS UP LIKE THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD.  It is scary but it is not scary all at the same time.

My EX BOSS is threatening to hold my check.  This is illegal.  But she CAN hold it for 30 days if she wants to.  I don’t have the time or the money for anything ‘legal’ to fight for, she is a C WORD…she is in the wrong, she is my mother and my EX and wants to stomp me down because I am strong and an individual and not a cog and will never sit down and shut up and called her on her illegal shit.  I got out of a place she is trapped in.  I just have to not feed that situation any energy.  I will win.  

I mapped out some perspective jobs from Craigslist and some places I just randomly popped into.  I saw a horoscope that stated ‘When looking for a book, you may discover that you were in fact looking for the book next to it.” Italian writer Roberto Calasso told that to The Paris Review, and now I’m passing it on to you. But I’d like you to expand upon its meaning, and regard it as a metaphor that applies to your whole life right now. Every time you go searching for a specific something — a learning experience, an invigorating pleasure, a helpful influence — consider the possibility that what you really want and need is a different one that’s nearby.’

So that’s what I am doing right now.  Maybe the thing NEARBY the thing I THINK I need, is what I truly need.  I am not shutting down to all possibilities. I am not taking any old desperate thing either.  One interview, the guy was such a douchebag, I cried in my car all the way home.  (And emailed Maggie who talked me off the ledge.) GOOD INDICATION OF WHY I WOULD NOT WANT TO WORK THERE.  I am paying attention.  I am present.  I am un-employed and looking for a job, that is all I am doing.  I have mad skillz y’alls.  I’m going to use them to my best advantage.

I love where I am living.  I love the city.  I love it that my son is down here too.  I want my daughter to move down here.  I love my life.  I love who is in it.  I love what I do.  I love the time spent with Boyfriend as it is not all encompassing and crazy love like that which I am used to.  Life is not crazy.  

Life is life.