Be the master of your own domain for a mere $18. Wow WP. So cheaply you entice us to sell our souls. And didn’t Seinfeld have an episode about this? It was something about a castle I think though. hehe.
Working 40 hours a week at corporate franchised hair salon and add to that driving about an hour a day…making it 50 hours a week, has taken a bite out of my life quite a bit. I do not need to say yes to any old job that comes up. I have to tell my few side jobs no for now. Its weird how that ‘scares’ me. Living in LACK for so many years makes me feel afraid of not having enough so I must TAKE ALL I CAN. This is not true. There is enough. I am enough. I am working enough. Its ok.
I started improv and had a show yesterday. It went AWESOME. There were four girls in our show and I love female improv energy. It was a great show, and the audience loved it and we had a dance party to top it off.
Started a class in two man improv and have a partner whom is also a super cool chick.
I am feeling a bit scattered today.
My next day off shall be filled with NOTHING. No scheduling of any kind.
Life is happening.
I am letting it.
I am letting go of so much anguish and sadness it is remarkable.
Once you step away from the toxic goo, it is amazing how much you see it. Like blood spatter under a black light at a crime scene investigation. Overwhelmed with what used to be ‘okay’ with me. Now there is only joy. I am working hard, at a mediocre job but okay given its not in a coal mine or anything. Its just filling the pot for now. Which is what I need to dedicate myself to. I quit jobs too easily creating constant instability. I deserve stability now.
I go to work. I stash my dough. I put it in the bank, I pay bills with it. I buy gas. I go out on occasion. I deserve that which I never allowed myself in the past. A path. On this path I have met a joyous, happy, funny, driven, creative man whom I have joyous, happy, fun times with. He does not try to take anything from me. Nor me from him. It feels amazing.
I am not sad over the past. It does not exist and that feels wonderful. I am not carrying it in front of me like a tray of bad hor devours. I dumped the tray. I am AT the party in this metaphor, not working it, and I am happy.
I love it! You are at the party, not working it. Congratulations to you Jude! Right now, I’m working that uninspiring job that pays the bills but paying the bills is worth it! xoxox
I love your analogies / metaphors – whatever they are. Toxic goo, blood spatter, crime scene… perfect! I hope you never have to work the life party again – from here on out, you only need to be at the party having a good time. That’s my wish for you.
xoxo
Awe!! Well life is a party. I will always defend that. Sometimes its a pay your bills party and that’s ok! I’ve been to the I Can’t Pay My Bills Party and that sucks. I’m happy to be a participant at this life thing!!! Thanks friend.
Congratulations! So good to hear your joy! xoxoM
Thanks girlfriend!!!
This is so great. Mazel tov! Also, I love love love this paragraph:
“I am not sad over the past. It does not exist and that feels wonderful. I am not carrying it in front of me like a tray of bad hor devours. I dumped the tray. I am AT the party in this metaphor, not working it, and I am happy.” So beautiful.
Thanks Weebes!!!!
Not just letting life happen, but chasing the parts you want to have!
Great to hear the news, Speedo!
I’m tryin!!! Always so unsure…but unwilling to give up.
Well, I’ll raise a glass of champagne to toast you in the party that is life!
I know I’ve said it before, but it needs saying again: Speedo, you totally rock! You are one incredibly amazing and inspiring girl. I’m so pleased for you that you’ve got this control of your life and that you’re taking it by storm.
You make me sound so good…when I feel so not good. It is so nice to hear the word inspiring associated with me because I don’t feel it mos of the time…SOME of the time…not most…so thank you so much!!!!
You’re welcome. I think it’s part of my vocation in life to be a cheer-leader for people I meet via the internet!
*smooch*